Monday, May 18, 2009 6:59 PM
Old Friend
To You
(At the end of this post, you'll probably figure out who you are. I'm not gonna mention any names. Will drop some hints though.)
I know you've been talking about me behind my back with them.
Criticizing me, bad-mouthing me, complaining about me.
This is not the first time it's happened, so I'm not surprised, I honestly wasn't.
Word of what you said always got round to me some way or another, and this time, it wasn't any different. So it came as nothing new to me.
I don't know your reasons to why you're doing it, cause I haven't done anything to you since our last quarrel a few months ago. But whatever your reason, I'm sure it's nothing new as well.
I always knew that you thought I can't dance, and I'm a terrible dancer and stuff.
But you're making such a big deal out of it, telling people how much you think I suck, right there, out loud, in front of everyone.
It's almost as if you want me to know, but as usual, you're just too scared to come tell it to my face, right?
You're scared cause you know that compared to me, you seem like a much smaller person.
That you're childish and immature, unwise and unthinking.
You're jealous of how I am, because I dare to apologize when I'm wrong, but you can't.
I'm not angry at you, nor am I upset.
I'm merely quite irritated that after so long, you still are not able to overcome your flaws and better yourself.
You're still unable to listen, to accept and to change.
In the event that your intention is to make me angry again, to upset me for no reason again, to do anything of that sort, then I'm sorry to burst your bubble of fun, but it's just not working, not anymore.
I've grown out of that phase, that time when the slightest thing that you said would upset me.
I've learned from my mistakes and moved on in life. I've grown up. But you, it seems, are sadly still stuck.
They asked you why you picked me to join the team when I'm such a bad dancer, and you told them that it was because "you had no other choice", putting it as "Imagine she's the only girl left who can dance, of course I had to take her!"
Wow, I must really suck, huh? =)
It's just like that time, when you said it right in front of me, thinking I wasn't paying attention.
"You're dancing, right? Why not with Eli?"
You glanced at me, then turned back to the person and gave her a disgusted look and shook your head.
I chose to let it pass me by, as I will again this time.
Another incident, you were telling someone that you'd never choose me to do the "couple dance" with you, even if I were the last girl left.
Strange, you're making it sound as if I WANT to dance with you.
Sorry, but I should correct you.
I wouldn't want to dance with you even if you were willing to give your damn life to get me to dance with you.
Because honestly, your delusion of yourself being the best there is, is tragically, just that, a delusion. Nothing more than a lie to yourself. A fantasy, a dream of yours, like a bubble you put yourself in, and are not willing to get out of.
You're also a terrible partner, and it's not just me who notices this.
One minute it's this girl, one minute the next, another minute, another girl.
It's just like your never-ending crushes.
One day, you like this girl. The next day, another. And it goes on and on, back and forth.
And the similarity is that you treat all of them as if they all want you.
What a sad lie, I nearly pity you.
In fact, I kind of do. Because I know that most of those girls are most probably not at all interested.
They just can't get rid of you because you're so clingy and assuming.
You come and whine to me about how all these girls seem to be playing with your feelings and such, not seeming to get what their message is.
If it SEEMS like "they're playing with your feelings", then why still hold on to them?
You also complain to others that I don't care about you.
If I didn't care, I wouldn't bother.
I wouldn't bother trying to be nice to you all the time.
I wouldn't bother to not point out your flaws, because I know how sensitive you are, and how easily you're shattered.
I wouldn't bother cleaning up your messes all the time, even when they have nothing to do with me.
I wouldn't bother listening to all your crap, and still putting up with it.
I do care, and you know I do.
But if this is how you choose to be, then so be it.
I will not bother caring about your feelings and trying not to hurt you, or let you get hurt.
It's none of my business, it never has been.
Handle yourself, and don't come looking for me again when you get into trouble and expect me to willingly help.
Take care, my old friend.
